How To: Create and Stick with a Personal Fitness Routine

How To: Create and Stick with a Personal Fitness Routine

So you want to work out. It seems simple enough. If all of those badass fitness models on Instagram can do it, then why can’t you? Buy new workout clothes, invest in a gym membership or at-home equipment, create a fitness board on Pinterest and you’re all set! Right?

Wrong. It’s all fun and games until you end up sitting on some random machine, wondering how to work it and what to do next–until you’re lacking motivation three weeks in and fall back to square one.

So how do you start? By creating your own workout regime.

Figure out what you want from your fitness journey–to lose weight, gain muscle, tone up, build strength, etc. Keep in mind that you can achieve all of these goals with the correct regime. Once you set your priorities straight, conduct some research online (sites like LIVESTRONG and MyFitnessPal are super helpful!) and collect exercises that are relevant to your objectives.

Next, be sure to divide your days into your targeted muscle groups. For example, I exercise my legs and glutes on Mondays and Wednesdays, my arms on Tuesdays, my abs on Tuesdays and Thursdays; I do cardio each of those days; and I dedicate an extra day to full body HIIT workouts. If I skip a session, I simply shift my routine to the following day.  While I am not a physical trainer, I have found that this routine works well for me.

Whether you go to the gym or work out at home, set a few days aside for trial periods. Test some exercises out, try using weights, figure out which form of cardio is your favorite. Make sure to choose activities that excite you, ones that motivate you to get up and get going each morning. For instance, if you hate running like I do, don’t force yourself to do it. There are plenty of other ways to burn calories, like swimming, biking or playing soccer.

Inspiration is another key to staying on track. Follow fitness bloggers on social media and look up new and exciting ways to stay in shape regularly.

By adhering to a schedule, you hold yourself accountable. When you’re comfortable in your routine, make some changes. Increase reps or sets. Add some new workouts. Change your location. Record (and reward!) your progress.

Overall, just ensure that you are enjoying yourself in the healthiest way possible, physically and mentally.

 

6 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

6 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

I woke up the other morning feeling extra self-conscious. I skipped the gym all week because I was so focused on my academics and felt sick. I slept too late and had plans to go out, so there was another gym session out of the window. Of course, I could’ve made time if I really wanted to; but I was so looking forward to adventuring and spending some time in the sun that I decided not to–again.

Now, I usually make certain I go to the gym at least four to five days a week. So naturally, I was feeling guilty and gross for skipping yet again. Not only that, but every time I opened my Instagram, I saw another skinny girl with a perfectly flat stomach and toned everything, a girl who I couldn’t help but be jealous of–which I hate admitting to.

I struggle in this area–comparing myself to others. Whether it’s about my physical appearance, like my hair, body, skin, whatever, or about my personality, intellect, interests, I always, always, always compare myself. It’s such a terrible habit to fall in to, but a common one at that.

Here are 6 reasons to stop comparing yourself to others:

  1. You become bitter.
    When you’re constantly competing with other people, you become so invested in outshining them that you often find reasons to dislike and envy them, causing a manifestation of negative thoughts. Sure, competition may encourage you work harder in some aspects of your life–but for all of the wrong reasons.
  2. You live your life for others.
    Your main goal is being better than others, rather than improving yourself. You care so much about other people’s opinions and perceptions of you that you often lose sight of yourself and your own goals.
  3. You miss out on the beauty of life.
    There are so many more important parts of life that you miss when you’re caught up in petty notions. It’s a blessing to wake up each morning, to hear the rain tap on your window, to indulge in your favorite dessert, to spend the day in bed with your lover.
  4. You take yourself for granted.
    You become so wrapped up in who has nicer hair, tanner skin, a better GPA, more internships, etc. that you forget how lucky you are just to have working organs, a healthy body, and the opportunity to learn and live. You fail to recognize your talents and strengths, or view them as insufficient in comparison to others’. You expend all of your energy on your failures and weaknesses until you’re entirely spent.
  5. You lose focus on what’s important.
    What is important? Your happiness. Your interests. Your education. Your future. Your family, friends, and loved ones. Your health. Your sense of adventure. The only aspects of life that are worth your time and attention are ones that will benefit you; comparing yourself to others will never do that.
  6. You’ll never be happy.
    You’ve heard it before; there will always be someone prettier, smarter, skinnier, more toned, funnier, kinder, etc. in someone’s eyes. But none of that matters. What matters is how you see yourself. If you love yourself, which you should, you’ll attract positivity and success.

Remember: you are good enough. It doesn’t matter how pretty your boyfriend’s ex is. It doesn’t matter how successful your best friend is. It doesn’t matter how kind and caring your cousin is. No one can strip you of your attributions except yourself.

Sammi Says: Two Years Too Young?

Sammi Says: Two Years Too Young?

Hi Sammi!

This is kind of a mundane question compared to the others, but bear with me. There’s a girl in my life I think I’m interested in, but the problem is that she’s roughly 2 and a half years younger than me. I’m about to turn 22, so it’s not like it would be in high school, but I’m still not sure if that’s too much even now, and I can’t help but feel a little creepy. We’re good friends and get along great otherwise. How do you determine if someone’s too young for you or not? I’m sure the old “divide you age by 2, and add 7” rule is simplifying it a bit much. Thanks!

Possible Creeper

 

Dear Possible Creeper,

First of all, I do not think you are a “possible creeper” in any aspect. Two years honestly is not a huge difference, especially at your age. Odds are, she won’t think it’s a big deal either. I know of many couples, even in high school, who are two to three, sometimes four, years apart. I’ve dated a some guys who were two years older than me in the past; so have many of my friends!

Now, the important point to consider is whether or not she is on the same maturity level as you, or if you two are on the same page in life. I’m not saying you need to be ready to settle down, stop partying, move in together, or anything extreme. However, if she, for example, spends most weekends at frat houses while you, on the other hand, are preparing for graduation and applying to grad school, you may want to ask yourself if you’re comfortable being at opposing stages. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with either of you regardless; it all depends on your needs in a relationship. You two are obviously good friends, so there is already some similarities of interests there.

If you are interested in this girl and want to make a move, do it! Don’t hold back just because of an age gap.

Good luck!

Sammi

 

Need advice? Ask Sammi in the “contact” section!

Sammi Says: Dreading Relationships

Sammi Says: Dreading Relationships

Dear Sammi,

I’ve been happily single for the last 4 years, living my own life. I dated occasionally during that time, but they never lasted, I’ve always had feelings of dread and lingering sadness if I’ve dated anyone for more than a few weeks. Considering these were people I originally asked out on a whim, it made sense to me.

However, the same thing happened recently when I asked out a crush, and for once she said yes. I know I want to be with her, so why do I also dread dating her, and why can’t I feel happy and confident regarding how things are going? What would you do in this confusing situation?

Loveshy

 

Dear Loveshy,

I can totally relate to your situation, as I often experience doubts regarding relationships. It can be tough to work through, especially when you aren’t sure whether your feelings are valid or merely a reflection of fear and anxiety.

As you mentioned, you tend to make quick decisions and then regret or question them. This is normal. When you rush into relationships, you don’t necessarily give yourself enough time to consider all of its aspects, which can lead to intense overthinking. Do you really want to be with this person? What if they aren’t good for you? What if you mess up? What if they do? What if you want to see other people, too? The questions go on and on, feeding off each other until you probably have had enough.

It seems to me that you have a bit of commitment issues. Don’t worry, I think half of the world (if not more) does, too. Really though. I have been in a relationships for over two years now, and I still get freaked out by the thought of commitment sometimes. Now, I’m saying that I am disloyal or that I think my boyfriend disloyal; but it definitely freaks me out, feeling so much love and putting so much time into something that can easily be destroyed. There are so many mistakes both of us could make, so many external factors that could cause issues, etc. But you know what? There are also so many things that could go right.

The dreading, the stressing, the doubting–it’s all a normal part of dating, especially in the beginning. Once you accept your feelings as exactly what they are (merely emotions that everyone experiences), you will be able to move on from them. Try writing them down; they might not seem so terrifying or daunting.

Everyone questions, second-guesses, loses confidence. Do not feel guilty or wrong for doing so; I look at it as a defense-mechanism. We almost search for a problem because we are so used to finding one.

Be strong in those moments to prove yourself wrong; keep pushing forward in the relationship and be in that particular moment with your crush–really be there, taking it all in, listening, talking, and enjoying yourself.

If you feel that you no longer like the person you are dating, odds are you will know it without having to obsessively question yourself. You won’t worry about it or be too upset over it. You will want to end it and be free. The fact that you are stressing means you care, which is important in any relationship. So don’t be so hard on yourself, your thoughts, and your emotions. You are no different from anyone else, and you deserve to happy.

Sammi

 

Need advice? Ask Sammi in the “contact” section!

Sammi Says: Thinking About Other Guys

Sammi Says: Thinking About Other Guys

Dear Sammi,

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 happy years. However, I often find myself having some sort of feelings for other guys, and more often than not they are close friends or ex-boyfriends. I feel guilty just thinking about it. I am not sure how to handle these feelings. What would you do?

Guilty

 

Dear Guilty,

One thing I learned from having OCD is that doubts are completely normal, especially in relationships. Everyone experiences them. I think that maybe you’re over-analyzing it a bit, which is totally normal! But take a step back and think: “I’m with my boyfriend because I love him.”

You may have slight attractions to other people, but in the end, you are loyal to your boyfriend. That’s what truly matters. Attractions will always be there. That’s a normal feeling, especially when it comes to people you have a relationship with. Past lovers and even close friends will always hold a special place in your heart, not because you want them but because you care about them. As long as you aren’t tempted to cheat or willing to risk losing your boyfriend to satisfy your feelings, then they are not serious and are actually healthy. In fact, you may be interpreting them as something they really aren’t simply because you care so much for your boyfriend and don’t want to upset him.

You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re a great girlfriend because of the way you’re handling this.

Sammi

 

Originally posted on hercampus.com.

Need advice? Ask Sammi in the “contact” section!

How To: Say Goodbye to Guilt

How To: Say Goodbye to Guilt

 

I harbor guilt. Lots of it. In fact, that’s basically all I feel 24/7. Having OCD makes it even worse; I dwell on my mistakes (ones that most people wouldn’t even consider mistakes in the first place) and obsess over them until my stomach is in knots. I wake up every morning with painful cramps from the shame and anxiety. It is not a good feeling.

I am sure I’m not the only one with an over-active conscious. We all mess up, say words we don’t mean, start petty arguments, allow our feelings to take control. Why? Because we are human. We feel. We love. We hurt.

Feelings are not a sign of weakness, no matter what anyone says. In fact, they are quite the opposite. Admitting to emotions makes you strong and confident, while hiding them only proves insecurity. Be proud of who you are and what you feel rather than wearing a facade.

That being said, emotions can be messy. You’ll often find yourself torn, unsure of how to handle a situation. You can ask as many friends as you want for their advice; but in the end, it is you who makes the decision. It is you who has to deal with the consequences, and only you who knows exactly what you want and what you don’t want. So quit caring what others have to say; they don’t know your situation or your needs. Sure, you can turn to others for support, but learn to make your own decisions–and learn to accept yourself along the way, mistakes included.

There is no guide to life. You are going to have mishaps. You are going to get hurt by someone and you are going to hurt someone. That’s life. Move on from the shame, the doubts, and the guilt because they will only cloud your future judgement. You will walk on eggshells for your entire life if you don’t learn to forgive yourself. You will settle for less than what you deserve if you’re too hard on yourself.

This ties in with false guilt. In the article “Healthy Guilt vs. False and Harmful Guilt,” Paul Coughlin says, “False guilt has nothing to do with what’s true and accurate, nor is it related to true repentance. Rather, it is usually the fear of disapproval in disguise, and this problem especially hounds people who have a hyperactive or malfunctioning conscience.” In other words, this type of guilt is misleading. You may feel shame for reacting a certain way, even though you had every right to. Your actions were justified, yet you feel the need to seek acceptance or reassurance from others; and if anyone disagrees, you automatically assume you were wrong, and therefore plagued with guilt.

False guilt is extremely daunting. Everyone handles situations differently; not everyone will agree with you all of the time. But that doesn’t mean you are wrong, and you should not beat yourself up over human emotions.

Now, if you do or say something you aren’t proud of, something that you know was out-of-character or irrational, apologize. That is all you can truly do. You can’t go back, so replaying it over and over will only lead to more problems, like irritability or sensitivity. Simply try writing down your thoughts in a journal or in your notes on your phone, and then never think about it again. Wake up the next morning and move on.

Dwelling on the past does not make you smarter or stronger; it benefits you in no way. Set yourself free, forgive yourself, and love yourself–unconditionally.