Empathy Is Not Wrong, Society Is

People told me I wanted attention. That I craved sympathy. That I needed to be everyone’s best friend. That I was nosy and dramatic. Soon, these became things I told myself, too.

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I’ve always lived my life in shades of gray, leaning neither toward black nor white. Life is too complicated to subject yourself to a one-track way of thinking.

But this isn’t always easy. From a very young age, I’ve felt a tremendous amount of pain for simply being human. And I always thought that I was wrong. I always thought that, somehow, I was actually a bad person for feeling things so deeply.

People told me I wanted attention. That I craved sympathy. That I needed to be everyone’s best friend. That I was nosy and dramatic. Soon, these became things I told myself, too.

Continue reading “Empathy Is Not Wrong, Society Is”

6 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

“You care so much about other people’s opinions and perceptions of you that you often lose sight of yourself and your own goals.”

I woke up the other morning feeling extra self-conscious. I skipped the gym all week because I was so focused on my academics and felt sick. I slept too late and had plans to go out, so there was another gym session out of the window. Of course, I could’ve made time if I really wanted to; but I was so looking forward to adventuring and spending some time in the sun that I decided not to–again.

Now, I usually make certain I go to the gym at least four to five days a week. So naturally, I was feeling guilty and gross for skipping yet again. Not only that, but every time I opened my Instagram, I saw another skinny girl with a perfectly flat stomach and toned everything, a girl who I couldn’t help but be jealous of–which I hate admitting to.

I struggle in this area–comparing myself to others. Whether it’s about my physical appearance, like my hair, body, skin, whatever, or about my personality, intellect, interests, I always, always, always compare myself. It’s such a terrible habit to fall in to, but a common one at that.

Here are 6 reasons to stop comparing yourself to others:

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Sammi Says: Dreading Relationships

“I’ve always had feelings of dread and lingering sadness if I’ve dated anyone for more than a few weeks.”

Dear Sammi,

I’ve been happily single for the last four years, living my own life. I dated occasionally during that time, but they never lasted, I’ve always had feelings of dread and lingering sadness if I’ve dated anyone for more than a few weeks. Considering these were people I originally asked out on a whim, it made sense to me.

However, the same thing happened recently when I asked out a crush, and for once she said yes. I know I want to be with her, so why do I also dread dating her, and why can’t I feel happy and confident regarding how things are going? What would you do in this confusing situation?

Loveshy

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How To: Say Goodbye to Guilt

Dwelling on the past does not make you smarter or stronger; it benefits you in no way.

I harbor guilt. Lots of it. In fact, that’s basically all I feel 24/7. Having OCD makes it even worse; I dwell on my mistakes (ones that most people wouldn’t even consider mistakes in the first place) and obsess over them until my stomach is in knots. I wake up every morning with painful cramps from the shame and anxiety. It is not a good feeling.

I am sure I’m not the only one with an over-active conscious. We all mess up, say words we don’t mean, start petty arguments, allow our feelings to take control. Why? Because we are human. We feel. We love. We hurt.

Continue reading “How To: Say Goodbye to Guilt”