6 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

6 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

I woke up the other morning feeling extra self-conscious. I skipped the gym all week because I was so focused on my academics and felt sick. I slept too late and had plans to go out, so there was another gym session out of the window. Of course, I could’ve made time if I really wanted to; but I was so looking forward to adventuring and spending some time in the sun that I decided not to–again.

Now, I usually make certain I go to the gym at least four to five days a week. So naturally, I was feeling guilty and gross for skipping yet again. Not only that, but every time I opened my Instagram, I saw another skinny girl with a perfectly flat stomach and toned everything, a girl who I couldn’t help but be jealous of–which I hate admitting to.

I struggle in this area–comparing myself to others. Whether it’s about my physical appearance, like my hair, body, skin, whatever, or about my personality, intellect, interests, I always, always, always compare myself. It’s such a terrible habit to fall in to, but a common one at that.

Here are 6 reasons to stop comparing yourself to others:

  1. You become bitter.
    When you’re constantly competing with other people, you become so invested in outshining them that you often find reasons to dislike and envy them, causing a manifestation of negative thoughts. Sure, competition may encourage you work harder in some aspects of your life–but for all of the wrong reasons.
  2. You live your life for others.
    Your main goal is being better than others, rather than improving yourself. You care so much about other people’s opinions and perceptions of you that you often lose sight of yourself and your own goals.
  3. You miss out on the beauty of life.
    There are so many more important parts of life that you miss when you’re caught up in petty notions. It’s a blessing to wake up each morning, to hear the rain tap on your window, to indulge in your favorite dessert, to spend the day in bed with your lover.
  4. You take yourself for granted.
    You become so wrapped up in who has nicer hair, tanner skin, a better GPA, more internships, etc. that you forget how lucky you are just to have working organs, a healthy body, and the opportunity to learn and live. You fail to recognize your talents and strengths, or view them as insufficient in comparison to others’. You expend all of your energy on your failures and weaknesses until you’re entirely spent.
  5. You lose focus on what’s important.
    What is important? Your happiness. Your interests. Your education. Your future. Your family, friends, and loved ones. Your health. Your sense of adventure. The only aspects of life that are worth your time and attention are ones that will benefit you; comparing yourself to others will never do that.
  6. You’ll never be happy.
    You’ve heard it before; there will always be someone prettier, smarter, skinnier, more toned, funnier, kinder, etc. in someone’s eyes. But none of that matters. What matters is how you see yourself. If you love yourself, which you should, you’ll attract positivity and success.

Remember: you are good enough. It doesn’t matter how pretty your boyfriend’s ex is. It doesn’t matter how successful your best friend is. It doesn’t matter how kind and caring your cousin is. No one can strip you of your attributions except yourself.

Sammi Says: Two Years Too Young?

Sammi Says: Two Years Too Young?

Hi Sammi!

This is kind of a mundane question compared to the others, but bear with me. There’s a girl in my life I think I’m interested in, but the problem is that she’s roughly 2 and a half years younger than me. I’m about to turn 22, so it’s not like it would be in high school, but I’m still not sure if that’s too much even now, and I can’t help but feel a little creepy. We’re good friends and get along great otherwise. How do you determine if someone’s too young for you or not? I’m sure the old “divide you age by 2, and add 7” rule is simplifying it a bit much. Thanks!

Possible Creeper

 

Dear Possible Creeper,

First of all, I do not think you are a “possible creeper” in any aspect. Two years honestly is not a huge difference, especially at your age. Odds are, she won’t think it’s a big deal either. I know of many couples, even in high school, who are two to three, sometimes four, years apart. I’ve dated a some guys who were two years older than me in the past; so have many of my friends!

Now, the important point to consider is whether or not she is on the same maturity level as you, or if you two are on the same page in life. I’m not saying you need to be ready to settle down, stop partying, move in together, or anything extreme. However, if she, for example, spends most weekends at frat houses while you, on the other hand, are preparing for graduation and applying to grad school, you may want to ask yourself if you’re comfortable being at opposing stages. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with either of you regardless; it all depends on your needs in a relationship. You two are obviously good friends, so there is already some similarities of interests there.

If you are interested in this girl and want to make a move, do it! Don’t hold back just because of an age gap.

Good luck!

Sammi

 

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